Will Smith drops wisdom gems every once in a while via his Instagram account and he recently dropped another about a lesson he learned about love.
This lesson, he revealed, was taught to him by his wife of 20 years, actress Jada Pinkett Smith. Will asked Jada about one of the biggest revelations that she’s had about love and he shared her answer for another IG sermon. Jada told Will that her biggest revelation about love has been that the pursuit of happiness isn’t found in what your partner can do for you but what you can do for yourself to better your relationship.
“You cannot make a person happy,” he began. “You can make a p
erson smile, you can make a person feel good, you can make a person laugh but whether or not a person is happy deeply, totally and utterly out of your control.”
He continued: “I remember the day I retired. I said to Jada, ‘I retire, I retire from trying to make you happy. I need you to go make yourself happy and just prove to me that it’s even possible.’ After we cracked the hell up, we started talking about it and we came into this false romantic concept that somehow when we got married, we would become one. We realized that we were two completely separate people on two completely separate, individual journeys and that we were choosing to walk separate journeys, together.
“Her happiness was her responsibility and my happiness was my responsibility and we decided that we were going to find our individual internal, private joy and then we were going to present ourselves to the relationship and to each other, already happy. Not coming to each other, begging without empty cups out demanding that she fill my cups and demanding that she meet my needs. It’s unfair and it’s kind of unrealistic and can be destructive to place the responsibility for your happiness on anybody other than yourself.”
Will’s post resonated with a lot of people and one Twitter user asked where she could drop her tithe for Jada who inspired the message.
Another wise message the actor shared was in December when he posted a photo of him and his wife.
The message that followed the photo said: “20 Years Ago Today we held hands and walked naively down that aisle. Here’s what I’ve learned since. Love is Like Gardening… I have learned to focus on HELPING you to BLOSSOM into what YOU want to be (into what you were born to be)… Rather than Demanding that you become what my Fragile Ego needs you to be. I’ve learned to take pleasure in Nourishing YOUR dreams… Rather than wrestling with you to Fulfill my Selfish Needs & Satiate My Insecurities.
“I have learned that Love is Listening. Love is Giving. Love is Freedom. Happy Anniversary, My Queen! I am forever Devoted to Nurturing your Deepest Truth.”
Watch the video below.
Will asked Jada about one of the biggest revelations that she’s had about love and he shared her answer for another IG sermon.
You can’t make another person happy!
— Ameena Rasheed (@AmeenaRasheed) 16 February 2018